Urbanist Journals

Name:
Location: The Planet Brooklyn

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The rise and fall of Wild Brooklyn: A critical analysis Pt. 1 of 2

His false teeth gritted, oak grinding against oak (as the old wives tale goes) as Lieutenant General Washington of the Continental Army, unified under the banner of the newly christened United States of America attempted to whisk his army away in the middle of a sweltering August night, wading through the muck and the slough of the Gowanus Canal. Here in the southwest tip of Long Island, between the villages of Brooklyn and Flatbush.
Washington attempted to evacuate what was left of his ten thousand of troops from the wrath of the redcoats and their cutthroat Hessian mercenaries. Nearly three hundred killed, another thousand wounded or missing, and outnumbered nearly three to one, the tall, commanding General knew that if they fell to the musket and bayonet here, just across from the City of New York, then Jefferson’s brilliant Declaration of Independence would fall to the annals of failed, over-ambitious revolutionary text. A practical leader, Washington whisked his men away to the island of Manhattan under the cloak of night, a wise retreat that ensured that they would fight and win another day.
The Old Stone House (a recreation of it, actually) where Washington and his troops held off the onslaught of enemy troops still stands in Brooklyn, though it’s not in the wild, uncultivated mess that it was in 1776. It’s in Park Slope, one of the safest, most beautiful and rapidly prospering neighborhoods in New York, a veritable brownstone utopia. With the miraculous infusion of arts culture into DUMBO (complete with irresistibly cute, Real-Estate friendly title) and the emergence of Red Hook as a coveted historic waterfront space, Brooklyn’s reputation has become cleaner, safer and friendlier than it possibly ever has before.
And not everybody’s happy about that.
Development equals higher rent. It’s an irrefutable Catch-22 of urban living: Making a space better makes it more desirable, which makes it more expensive. And often those who feel they played an inseparable role in cultivating the area’s appeal (the artistic communities, the nightlife pioneers) feel left out of the progress when they see their rents quintuple.
Then again, how is that any different that any other land conflict in the world? Can any group really ever lay an intrinsic claim to a piece of land? Even the Native Americans crossed the Bearing Straight to get here ages ago. The Middle-East conflict is the clearest indication that the whole idea of “our land” does more harm than good, and if I were being booted from my home, I’d rather it be at the end of a checkbook than a rifle.
The claim to Brooklyn shifted from the Lenape to the Dutch, to the British, to The Colonials long before it then shattered into an international mélange of neighborhoods, Polish in Greenpoint, Hasidim in Boro Park, Italians in Bensonhurst, so on and so forth but Brooklynites one and all.
On April 15th, 230 years after Washington’s daring escape, The art/activism/thought collective, self-titled “Complacent Nation” echoed the good general’s struggle and announced through the power of email, their own Battle for Brooklyn, laying claim to a sacred land like so many leaders have in battles past. Of course, This wasn’t the first time that Complacent Nation stuck up a cause for the struggling artist, the non-capitalist, the striving idealist searching for nothing more than a space for expression without being muscled out by the forces of either the “law” or the market.
Complacent Nation is not a collective so much as a brainchild of a single organizer with a plethora other artists and performers who gravitate around it, involving themselves on a project-by-project basis. The “man behind the curtain to whom we are to pay no attention…” is Will Etundi. A 27 year-old web designer who works exclusively for non-profits. He moved to New York from Northern California eight years ago, living in Harlem for the first seven and then to DUMBO.
Will began Complacent a six years ago, as a comment on the disconnect between the social awareness and applied efforts of activist culture and the carelessness and complacency of the greater world around us. Understandable, seeing how this was the year we saw our president chosen by a single Supreme Court vote, while we sat watching, our thumbs mysteriously all planted deep within our rectal cavities. Reclaiming the streets was one of the roots of Will’s activism, seeing it as the most basic arena for populist thought and activity. (And no, it was not simply a hoard of young white people shouting: “WHOSE STREETS? . . .”Ah, you know the rest.) The idea of street-party-as-protest was one that held enormous appeal and potential, and one that Will and his collaborators planned to apply often.
The first Complacent party hosted in that fatefully tragic month of November, 2000 was titled Feel, focusing on full sensory awareness. (Not unlike the touch caves often found in science museums.) People were treated to alcoholic beverage taste-tests, and led through tunnels covered in various smooth, soft, and scratchy surfaces. The admission to the party was $7, in one dollar bills. My assumption was because the actual counting seven individual bills was an important corporeal process that we don’t think about often enough. Will had greater plans for those bills. They weren’t used to pay for the space, or the booze, and it definitely didn’t go into anyone’s pockets. Well, not quite yet.
Instead, on the morning after Thanksgiving, (the traditional Biggest Shopping Day of the Year and annual Buy Nothing Day for the anti-capitalist community) a mysterious figure in a suit and a mask (mimicking the familiar smiley-face logo, except with a straight line for a mouth) climbed atop a lamppost in Herald Square, in front of the biggest department store in the world…and began tossing the bills from a giant plastic garbage bag into the streets.
The pandemonium that ensued was expected, and it was only exacerbated when the people scrambling in the streets scraped up the dollar bills only to see stamped on one side of the bill in big red letters: SATISFIED? The man in the suit and mask (Will Etundi, of course,) was prompted arrested and spent a night in jail for disorderly conduct. A small price to play to place your name on the map of anti-consumerist culture, the crowds and the onlookers saw the face bearing neither a smile nor a frown. And pretty soon, the underground community knew the name Complacent. Their next party had nine-hundred attendees. This time around the money collected was put to the purpose of holding more events, maintaining www.complacent.org and, of course, stickers. Lots and lots of stickers.
Complacent became Complacent Nation in 2005, an effort to take it above and beyond just an event-by-event basis, with a regular email list broken down into three tiers: Aesthetics for art exhibits, Sedition for activism and protests, and Decadence of course, for parties. It was a clear well organized breakdown for everything that Complacent stood for. But it wasn’t just Complacent anymore. Now it was Complacent Nation, and the message therein was quite clear: “This Nation is fucked. What the hell is wrong with everyone?”
Well, as any arrogant prick will tell you (Full disclosure: I am an arrogant prick) it’s lonely at the top. Proclaiming oneself as righteous and everyone else just ignorantly content may not be the best way to get people behind your objective. We’ve seen some disturbing times since 2000, and starting with one sorrowful stolen election, things have been getting progressively worse, while many Americans are either in a car, at a desk, or on a couch. Sitting fat on their asses any way you slice it.
Things are bad, but when you start with fatalism, where do you go from there?
It seems like that’s been a question that Complacent has been contemplating itself for some time. And if you want to keep people involved, you can’t hang an all ominous cloud of doom over them the whole time you’re doing it. For this reason it seems, the focal point of Complacent events seem to be leaning more and more toward the decadent and aesthetic and less toward the seditious. As creators expand upon their own aspirations, the realization must be made that in this town, young people will always be more drawn to parties than petitions. Which doesn’t always meld with the causes and ideologies that led to this strongly titled condemnation of a country that just doesn’t care. The result is a heavily flawed message that has seemed to linger beneath the text of each of the Complacent emails:
“We can make progressive change in the world, if only we party hard enough…”
Not really the same as Washington’s great ambition, but I don’t think Will was drawing an allusion to the Battle OF Brooklyn (1776), no the name of the party was the Battle FOR Brooklyn as epic email proclamation explained:
“This is a call to arms?” Hmm? Is this La Revolucion, maybe?
“There are things worth fighting for. Have you noticed? Brooklyn is slipping. The storefronts are getting cleaner.” My first reaction was a raised eyebrow. “Excuse me? Are we fighting for dirty storefronts now?” And what exactly did it mean by Brooklyn is slipping? From who? Toward what?
The cultish sermon continued: “Because when we look for excitement, we want feverish teetering on the brink of mania; we want to step over that edge in a way we will never return from. On this night Brooklyn is a metaphor for the grit that we miss.” I considered writing an email back with a lengthy treatise on how artist infusion into industrial and blue-collar neighborhoods has always been (at least in New York) the first step toward an influx of investment and developers. From the Village, to SoHo, to LES, and finally to Williamsburg, is it any wonder that Bushwick would be next, even quicker than the last? One of the most obvious indicators being massive bacchanalias, which will always attract the attention of industry types and well-monied thrill-seekers. I decided to go with the opposite approach:
“You want ‘feverish teetering on the brink of mania? You want the ‘grit’ of ‘Wild Brooklyn’? Go smoke crack and stand out in East New York at 3 in the morning.” But, you know. I was still going to attend…

Rolling Stone 1000 and The Mayor of Strawberry Fields


Who's the worst group to give a tour to? Anyone? Any guesses?

Middle school kids from Long Island. Hands down, nobody even comes close. Cause not only are they rich, spoiled, sugarred-up money-saturated and and MTV-brainwashed beyond all hope, a trip to NYC isn't anything special to them. They don't care a single drop about John Lennon, they couldn't bother to hear a thing about the history of the Upper West and Central Park, all they want to do is annoy and harrass each other, and the adults, and of course, me.

And it's always the boys who try to get me to somehow admit that I'm gay (Oh, you have a girlfriend? What's HIS name. Hyuck Hyuck) who also get unbearably close to me when I'm giving my speech. Weird, and disturbing. Nothing but a pack of wild Jackal-monkeys. A combat tour as we call it. Forget about the important sites and stories, just get through it. Thank god they didn't want to see the WTC site, I can only imagine the scene they'd make there.

Anyway, into Strawberry Fields for lunch, a bare minimum of talking, back on the bus and take 'em to Toys 'R Us for an hour, what the fuck do I care? I just-

Oh shit. I left my backpack in the park.

I knew that wasting their time to run off and find it would instantly lose me any credibility I may have had, so I had to risk going back later for it. I slowly made a list in my head of the items in the bag as the kids loaded on to the bus. The bag itself was the most valuable item. Along with it was my most recent journal, which had more to-do lists and raw data than any deeply important creative work. Other than that nothing special. Just the thousandth issue of Rolling Stone I had bought earlier that day.

It seemed like an important collector's item, even though I never read Rolling Stone, it would be packed with significant history of the Classic Rock and youth movements in the late 20th. The cover was also brilliant. A Sergeant Pepper's mock up, except on a stage, and every face in the crowd was someone who was somehow important in the era of Rolling Stone. Kurt Cobain was the angel and Hunter S. Thompson the devil. Perfect. The cover also was a hologram that peeled off and left a regular version on the plain glossy-paper cover underneath. The hologram would be a perfect addition on my developing bedroom wall.

But that was most likely gone, along with the rest of the bag contents, so i just went on with the tour.

As we were circling Columbus Circle, I recieved a random call on my cell:

"Is this Gideon?"
"Yeah?"
"This is the Mayor." Not Bloomy, of course, a different mayor.
"Gary. The Mayor of Strawberry Fields" He continued. Gary, of course, was the unemployed, substance abused (which ones? Don't ask me!) patron of the renowned part of Central Park who has for 13 years (on and off) been putting together flower peace-sign decorations on the Imagine Mosaic in the heart of the Fields, I can only presume are donated by florists, or subsidized by Yoko or her various supporters of the site.

I don't know Gary's last name, his story, his origin, or his future, I just know that for zero dollars and zero cents, he creates an ephemeral boon of beauty to the already legendary tourist site, giving my sometimes apathetic students from far and near an additional highlight to their digital-photo slideshow they'll inevitably show to their friends and family back home.

He doesn't panhandle, he doesn't rant and rave, he only asks that we all hope and pray for peace, understanding, and good-will between all humankind. John couldn't have asked for anything more.

I told him i'd be there at 3pm.

At 2:50, i strolled back into Central Park at 72nd on the west side. The flower expansion upon the twenty-three year old mosiac still stood, but with a new addition to the design: A Rolling Stone hologram. Harvested from a backpack left in the Fields. Gary, of course, went through the bag and found my journal. On the first page had my name and number with the offer of a reward if found. He thought the hologram from the Rolling Stone cover just belonged in the heart of John's memento.

I did too.

He handed me back the bag, all items intact. We shot the breeze for a little while, along with Lisa, his female companion and the Black Lab they kept as guard and companion. I handed him a few bucks, he deserved more. I vowed to, next time I traversed Strawberry Fields, hand him a $20 and a joint as tribute for all he contributed to my tour. But tribute or no, Gary plays an indivisible role to the homage New York pays to the Greatest Rockers of All Time.

The Greatest are never recognized in their time. Or sometimes they are, I don't know, but Gary doesn't ask for fame, and he will not receive it. He only does what's right, and what's in his power to do what John Lennon always asked humanity to do: Make the world just a little bit better place in which to live. Nothing more, nothing less.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Bike vs Car 2 (Washington Sq Arch)


So Critical Mass was fun this week! I was all dudded up in green plaid, announcing myself on my voice amplifier as the Spirit of Springtime, ready to take to the streets.

The summons I recieved for "not staying on the far right" kinda killed the fun. Oh well, I got a few laughs at the cops' expense while still staying charming enough to not get cuffed.

Anyway, a small handful of us ended up at Washington Square Arch, discussing out later plans when some 3-inch dick idiot started revving the engine of his bright yellow sports car down the block from a pack of proud bicyclists. God I love owning a voice amp. So, I shouted through the microfone:

HEY! TAXI! Which got their attention. I followed it up with
HEY YOU! IN THE YELLOW CAR. . . YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!! Big laughs, big applause, and a middle finger from the guy in the backseat.

The driver revs, to prove his manhood, or superiority, or whatever, and then attempted to peel out with grand bravado. In doing so, nearly crashing his overpriced hunk of junk into a tree. We all had a good laugh, and the car drove off with it's fender between it's legs

Sweet.

Bike vs Car 1 (9th ave & 16th st.)

Did you know that lower Ninth ave has a Bike Lane? No lie, the far left lane is all for bicyclists. Wide one, too. I didn't know until my brother Matt and my friend Nick brought me there on our way to Critical Mass. Apparently, neither did the Yellow Cab that came barrelling up the street right toward us.

Of course, he was in a hurry, much moreso than anyone else on the road, so he was, of course, justified in tearing ass up the bike lane with three bicyclists stopped waiting to turn onto 16th st. Nick moved out of the way calmly, whereas I yelled at the cab to slow it down. Noticing he wasn't slowing, I moved myself out of the way just enough as well. Broken Legs was not convenient for me at this time.

Matt however, my proud, pseudo-rebel would not back down. Standing stone-faced against the grand yellow beast, he turned his wheel *just* enough to coincide with the taxi swerving to the right *just* enough to whip right past him, missing the bicycle by what I would guess was. . . hmm. . . an inch.

Now here's the clincher. Being so very close to the cab as it whipped by gave big bro the perfect open window (quite literally) to tell the driver exactly what he thought of his macho and thorougly dangerous actions; in the form of one precisely hocked loogie of phlegm. Right in the guy's face.

Half a block later, the cabbie stopped. Nick and I stood next to Matt, ready for any (unarmed, we hope and pray) confrontation with the driver. He drove on.

Heaping kudos on my big bro for his brave action, he could only reply:

"I wish I had more phlegm)

Bike vs Car (intro)


God, I love biking NYC. Especially springtime. Not too hot or cold, can wear a sharp outfit and still be weather-protected and not sweat up too much of a storm. So, I've already had two bikes stolen this year, no surprise, but with the money I've been making tour guiding, I could finally afford the Bike of my Dreams. A big, bad sonuvabitch, light-weight, good shocks, smooth gear-shift and a tight grip on the brakes, complete with drink-cage rear-view mirror and dinky little bell.

Which of course, lost me ALL cred with the fixed-gear, no-brake, too-small "real" biking Hipsters all over BK. Screw you, I bike for optimum performance.

Also, seeing how my summer job means I need to be at the South Street Seaport at 11am, that means rolling out of bed at 9 and taking a goregous ride across the Wburg bridge, down through LES and across Pike street to the seaport in 40 minutes,easy.

But of course, Spring in NYC also means a couple more things. . . lotsa road work. . . and a whole lotta car traffic.

New York a'int friendly to bicyclists. But that's okay, because we're right and they're wrong. We're using self-powered transport costing exactly ZERO gallons of gasoline for ANY distance while keeping ourselves trim, fit, and appreciative of fine weather. But still, taxis occupy the bike lane, SUVs clog crowded streets, and as good as it may feel to squeeze between lanes while cars are sitting, burning fuel, we're still embattled and fighting for our own in these streets.

And so herein, I shall include a handful of Bike vs. Car tales, where the bicyclists (most of the time) come out on top.

Mangia

-The Urbanist